5 Signs that Anger is a Problem

When does anger become a problem?

There are five times when anger becomes a problem :

•  it is expressed for the wrong reason.
•  it becomes too intense.
•  it lasts too long.
•  it leads to aggression.
•  it disturbs school, work, or relationships.

Do you have students who get stuck in their anger?  Can they identify with one or more of the statements above?

Ask students to give an example of anger for each category.
Create your own examples on cards and ask students to match them with each problem.
How can you resolve the anger once it is identified?   Ask students to come up with ways to stop or prevent getting into a situation that will cause them to be  angry.

I live to use the Jumpin' Monkeys game to show students how they get themselves stuck in their own problems.  They keep doing the same thing over and over and keep getting the same results.  This could be in relationships, homework, classwork, chores or decisions.  Process through the problem where they are getting stuck using the monkeys you catapult through the air.  If you do not move the catapult, you can not hit the tree.  You must move!

The same is true to teach this example with Ants in the Pants.  If you keep the ants in the same place and do not move them in order to hit your target, you will never get there.  You have to MOVE the ants to win!  Relate this to everyday life.  You have to do something different to get different results.  You don't like a discipline referral, then what can you change?   You get F's for assignments, then what can you do differently.

Sometimes, I will tape the catapult to the table purposely to show the student he is stuck.  I will ask him to play the game.  He might try and get frustrated.  He realizes he has to move or change to hit the target.  This is a valuable hands-on exercise.  Finally light-bulbs turn on!  They can take the tape off!  They can do something different.  If something is not working, they learn to do something else.  Most students do this naturally when they don't get the results they want.  Some need your help to work through this and learn to do this as a skill that is taught to them.

Need more ideas on this?  Demonstrations and directions are in the DVDs.  Counselor use to ask me to show them with the game or create a video series.  So I did!  Games and Play is a set of DVDs to show you how to do it.  It is Creative, Engaging, and FUN.

More on anger management for students.
Anger and Me is a student workbook that is reproducible.  Make as many copies as you need.
You can find it on Amazon: Anger and Me

There are examples of what students do when they express anger in the wrong ways in the workbook if you would like to use them instead of coming up with your own.   Quizzes are also included in the workbook.  The workbook can be used in individual or small group sessions.  They can be used in classrooms.  It is suitable for grades 4 - 12.  Adults have found it useful too!  Some businesses in my area have used it for their employees.  I ask parents to read it with their child.  Do 2-3 pages a day.  Talk about it together.  Discuss the examples.


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4 Internal Factors of Anger that Affect Kids

 Anger can come from internal or external factors. 

People have different dispositions.  This means that some people are easy-going and carefree, while others feel stressed out by little things.  Besides having different dispositions, people also have different ways of thinking, feeling, and behaving.  Some of these ways have been learned since they were a baby.  They are learned both individually and culturally.  These internal factors affect how a person deals with anger.

Some internal factors contribute to anger

1.  Poor Thinking.  Having bad thoughts and high expectations are examples of poor thinking.  Another example is talking bad about yourself.  Self-talk is when we talk to ourselves.  Everyone does this and it is very normal.  However, it is not normal or healthy to use negative self-talk.  This happens when we say, “I am so stupid.”  “If I did it this way, that would not have happened.”  “What a jerk I am.”  “Who could ever like me?”  “No one cares about me.”  Sometimes we say these things so much that we start to believe them, even though at the beginning when we started to say them we knew they were not true.

2.      Personal Appraisal.  When something is very important to us it has a high value or appraisal.  Another way to appraise things highly is by taking too personally what happens to us.  We may feel bad or get angry about a referral we received at school, but losing sleep because of a poor decision is caused by high appraisal or wanting to be perfect.

3.      Tension.  Tension is accumulated stress.  When a lot of stress builds up in our life, we need to find a way to release the stress.  Stress that is not released causes anger.

4.      Ill humor.  Being moody, cross, or crabby gets us in the mood for anger.

What are some external causes of anger?

Name some internal factors of anger:

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Need more help with anger for your students.   Check out Anger and Me, a workbook for kids on anger control and management.  It is reproducible, so make as many copies as you need!

 Anger and Me

Questions?  Suggestions?  Contact me: grace@counselorgames.com 

4 Postive Functions of Anger

 Did you know that anger can help us?  

 Anger can be positive or negative.  Help kids put their anger in the right place and make it useful.  

What is anger?

            Anger is a feeling or an emotion.  People express anger because it is an emotional reaction to certain kinds of stress.  Anger is automatic for some people since they have not learned to control it.  Anger is different from aggression.

            Anger has positive and negative effects.  It can be used for good or bad.  When we become angry we can lose our patience and act without thinking.  This is when anger has a negative effect.  Anger can be good or positive when it gives us strength, determination, or even satisfaction when we are faced with difficult situations.

            The goal of expressing anger is to minimize the negative effects and maximize the positive effects.

The Positive Functions of Anger

            Anger can be positive in four ways.  It is an energizer, helps us express ourselves, signals us, and helps us take charge.

            First, anger is an energizer in a difficult situation.  It gives us strength and mobilizes the body’s resources for self-defense.  It provides stamina when a job gets difficult.  It enables us to deal with conflict by supplying fuel for the fight.

            Second, anger helps us to express ourselves.  It releases our tensions and helps us to communicate our negative feelings to others.  Sometimes this stays bottled up inside us until we get angry.  A healthy expression of our anger is an important way to resolve conflict.

            A third way anger has a positive effect is when it signals us.  Our anger can give us information about other people and situations.  This is just the way our feelings work.  Anger, just like other feelings, lets us know here is something unjust, frustrating, threatening, or annoying going on.  It can tell us it is time to cope with stress.

            Helping us to take charge is a fourth way anger can be positive.  It creates a sense of being in charge of a situation.  When a situation is getting out of control, anger enables us to take control and assert our interest.

Negative Functions of Anger

            There are four basic negative functions of anger.  Anger can disrupt out thoughts, cause us to be defensive, lead to aggression, or be a false front.

            First of all, anger can hurt us when it disrupts our thoughts and actions.  It becomes harder to think clearly.  Anger makes it harder for us to pay attention in class or remember things.  It becomes difficult to think of the options or choices we have when we face problems.  Then we act more on impulse without considering the consequences of our behavior.

            Secondly, anger is negative when it is used as a defense.  Sometimes we use anger to defend ourselves when it is not necessary.  When we are hurt or embarrassed we get angry to protect our pride.  It is easier to be angry than to be anxious.  We sometimes get angry to keep from feeling hurt.

A third negative effect of anger is that it can lead to aggression.  When we become upset, we sometimes try to release our feelings through our behavior.  We get angry and try to take it out on something or someone.

           

Fourth, anger can be a false front.  Becoming angry is sometimes a way to promote an impression of ourselves to others.  At times we show our anger because we want others to see us in a certain way.  Demonstrating anger becomes a way to build a particular kind of reputation.  Then, people will learn to expect you to reach a certain level with them until you do get angry.

Name four ways anger can be positive.

1.      _________________________________________________________________

2.      _________________________________________________________________

3.      _________________________________________________________________

4.      _________________________________________________________________

Name four ways anger can be negative.

                  

1.      _________________________________________________________________

2.      _________________________________________________________________

3.      _________________________________________________________________

4.      _________________________________________________________________

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Anger control and management workbook for your students, and adults love it too!  This workbook has been used by professional companies such as realtors, teachers, administrators, foster care, probation officers and agency counselors, not to mention used by school counselors in three different countries. Anger and Me is reproducible, so you can make as many copies as you need.   I like to give it to parents, two to three copies at a time, and ask them to use the book together at home.  Do two to three pages a day together.  It helps to open new levels of communication at home.

Anger and Me

Contact Grace

grace@counselorgames.com

10 Easy Sentences to Help Kids Name Feelings

 How to Help Kids Name Different Feelings

Students often get stuck naming different feelings.  Use this simple activity to help kids identify with the way they feel.  This helps victims, bullies, ADHD, relationships and communication skills. 

Reproducible: 

Complete the following sentences using a feeling.  Try to use a different feeling for each sentence.

When someone is rude to me I feel 

____________________________________________________

When someone is kind to me I feel

 ____________________________________________________

If I were given a surprise party I would feel

 ____________________________________________________

When I say something stupid I feel

 _____________________________________________________

If someone bullied me on-line I would feel

 ____________________________________________________

When all of my friends are out of town I feel

 ____________________________________________________

Just before test grades are passed out, I feel

____________________________________________________

When I talk to someone I really like I feel

____________________________________________________

When I am criticized I feel 

____________________________________________________

When I win at a sport I feel

 ____________________________________________________

Can you name different feelings?  Did you think of some of these?

            Angry, mad, sad, depressed, annoyed, happy, elated, terrified, worried, distraught, confused, lonely, excited, stressed, fatigued, anxious, nervous, belittled, surprised, relaxed, frustrated, degraded

Add your own sentences.  What will you add?  Can you think of themes to create sentence completions?  

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Contact grace@counselorgames.com  with your ideas or feedback.  

Check out this anger control and management workbook for kids.  It is reproducible so make as many copies as you need.    Anger and Me 

 Is there a book in you?  Do you need help getting it published?  We can help.  Contact grace@counselorgames.com or info@counselorgames.com