How to get kids to talk, open up, and tell you more

 How to Get Kids to Talk

How do I get kids to talk?
Why are they not telling me the whole story?
What is really going on with this one?

Have you ever struggled to get information or down to the root cause of an issue out of a young child or adolescent?  How do you get them to talk and share freely?  How do you get them to open up?  One way is to meet them in their environment - which is in the world of play.

Plato Recognized Play

Plato, an early philosopher (429-347 B.C.), recognized the importance of play among children.  He noted that “you can discover more about a person in an hour of play than in a year of conversation.”  Play therapy is the use of games and play to help children prevent or resolve challenges. 

A parent can use a game or toy while talking to their child to help relieve stress or anxiety.  A counselor or therapist can rely on toys or games to help children to talk and share.  Children can act out behaviors or stories and use the toys or games to share events that are troubling.  Children can also use the toys to help tell about events that are difficult to put in words.  Games can give kids ideas to resolve problems, strengthen communication skills, and prevent further disruption.  

Everyone loves games!

Play is for all ages - ages 3 - 93.  Everyone loves games!  Everyone loves interaction with others.  Using a game and play therapy techniques make conversation creative, easy and FUN!  In today's world, kids get caught up in a video game world with no interaction using words or with humans.  When you get a student to interact with others with conversation, lights begin to go off!  Playing with others is fun!  Play helps to tell the story that is being held inside. 

Use Easy Classic Games

Counselor Games is a way to use everyday and familiar games to teach kids anger control, stress management, study and organizational skills, making friends, creating goals, decision making and more.  We show you how to  integrate counseling strategies into the games.  Counseling sessions become visual, auditory and kinesthetic/hands-on.  We give you video demonstrations using the games with the techniques so you can use them over and over.

Some examples include the following:

Use Don't Break the Ice for stress management.
Use Tumble for making friends.
Use playing cards to teach taking turns.
Use pick-up sticks to teach relationships and their dynamics.
Use Topple to teach about priorities.
Use Whack-a-mole to teach about goals.
Use Perfection to teach about the importance of being organized
and there is so much more!

Counselor Games is Play Therapy for Schools.  And it is not only for school; it is for home too.  It is important for parents to repeat and play the games at home to reinforce what is being learned.  It strengthens the communication between the adult and the child.   It is easy and fun!

Creative, Easy, FUN

If you are a parent who wants to find and use creative ways to get your kids to talk, this is for you.
If you are a school counselor who wants to use inexpensive, but familiar and fun games to enhance your counseling sessions, this is for you.
If you need a quick idea with little preparation to get big ideas across, this is for you!

Counselor Games has demonstrations of play therapy techniques using everyday games to help you teach strategies for stress management, anger control, making friends, study skills and more.  It is creative, easy and FUN!  We show you how.

Get your learning sessions here or find them at counselorgames.com.
Get your Play Therapy Workshop and learn how on your own time. 


Questions?  Contact Counselor Games  info @counselorgames.com  (take out the space after info)

More about Grace 

    Grace Wilhelm is a National Board Certified Counselor with experience in mental health and school counseling.  She enthusiastically presents to counselors, teachers, youth workers, and parents on anger, stress, crises intervention, communication, data, counseling programs, play sessions, and more.   She has been awarded ASCA National School Counselor of the

Year Semifinalist, RAMP, and FLDOE Parent Involvement Award.  Her publications include student workbooks on anger control and stress management and several articles.  She has also completed two DVDs on Games and Play to Enhance Counseling and Teaching Strategies: Creative Ways to Engage Students in Small Groups, Classrooms or Individual Counseling Sessions.
        Speaking engagements have taken Grace as far away as Papua New Guinea. She currently resides in Jacksonville, Florida with her husband Mark and three children.  She enjoys traveling, genealogy and playing the violin.

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Meet the Counselor Game

Another Great Article by Jeannie Maddox

 

Meet the Counselor with Jenga!

Looking for a quick and easy "Welcome Back- What is a School Counselor lesson?"  Well, you've found one!  We've been playing School Counselor Jenga and the kids love it.  Actually, kids just love Jenga!   I had no idea how much until I bought a set of Jenga blocks for my School Counselor intro lesson. When I mentioned Jenga they got all excited. They stayed engaged the entire lesson and were very careful not to knock over the Jenga tower so everyone in their class could have a turn.
This was truly one of the easiest, simplest and most engaging lessons I have ever done. Seriously!

Lesson Prep
1. Buy Jenga blocks
2. Make and print a numbered list of questions
3. Number your blocks
4. Play School Counselor Jenga!

Make a numbered list of questions that reflect all the information you want your students to know about you, your job, procedures for seeing you, school rules, behavioral expectations or whatever is unique to you, your school, and your school counseling program. I came up with 42 questions for my lesson. You can see my list HERE to give you some ideas of what you might ask. Some of my questions are generic and can be used by all School Counselors, but since our schools, programs and procedures are different, your list will need to reflect the things that are special to your population and your school.  Next, get your Jenga blocks and using a black permanent marker, number the blocks to match your list of questions. You can number them on the top or on the end.  I chose to number mine on the end, no special reason.  I had about a dozen blank blocks left over, but that was okay, I had to rack my brain for the 42 questions on my list!

Playtime
After a brief introduction of new students, a reminder about procedures and my expectations for classroom behavior we got down to Jenga Time!  I explained I was not going to tell them about my job this year because they had been hearing from me for years.  This year, I was going have them tell me and each other what a School Counselor does.  I had the blocks set up on a table in the front of the room and told them we would take turns coming up and removing a block.  They would tell me the number and I would give them a School Counselor question.  If they couldn't answer it, they were allowed to call on a friend to help. I used the number of the day they were born to determine the order in which they would come up to take their turn. When I had 3 students born on the 18th, we went in order of which month came first.  The students had a great time, cheered, clapped and encouraged each other. Twenty-five missing blocks later our tower was still standing and my students had shown me how much they knew about what a School Counselor does and had taught our new students too.

Insights
As we played School Counselor Jenga, as I decided to call it, I had two thoughts.  First, I became aware of the things about my job the students struggled with or did not understand.  I  learned I have some re-teaching to do. Secondly, I began to realize my numbered Jenga blocks could be used in this same fun way to review a lesson or skills and assess how well my students understood the concepts of that lesson or unit.  How fun would that be?

The Inspiration
I was inspired to use Jenga after attending an ASCA session this summer on using games in your School Counseling program. I saw presenter Grace Wilhelm  demonstrate how she uses Jenga to get to know her students at the beginning of the school year. This got my brain thinking about how I could use games to introduce the School Counselor.  Thanks Grace!  To learn more about how to use all sorts of games in your counseling program, visit Grace at her blog Counselor Games.

Thanks for stopping by!  Here's to fun and engaging Meet the Counselor lessons!




Learn more about Jeannie's blog here: Exploring School Counseling.

Professional Development:  Learn Play Therapy Techniques
Two DVDs with demonstrations to show you how to integrate play therapy into everyday games to teach students about anger control, stress management, study skills, test taking, making friends and more.  Get your professional development now at Counselor Games.

  

You Can Learn Play Therapy Techniques

Play Therapy is Creative, Engaging and Fun!

Too often I hear schools counselors say "I wish I learned play therapy".  Today professional development is expensive and hard to come by for specific areas.  Here is an easy solution: Get your professional development sent to you. 

Play Therapy allows you to use everyday games to teach counseling strategies.
What would your small groups or individual sessions look like if you did this:  

Teach anger control with Jenga. 
Teach stress management with Don't Break the Ice. 
Learn how to make friends with Tumble. 

Learn the importance of being organized with Perfection!

and more................... 

It is easy-peasy.  We make it simple and fun.  We give you demonstrations on DVD.  Watch them over at your leisure.  Get the ideas and RUN with them.  Get your creative juices going!  

Right now check out the BOGO: purchase one DVD, get one FREE!  at counselorgames.com 


And there is more.  There is the Play Pack which has everything you need to get started fast.    *   Two DVDs of play therapy techniques with everyday games
*   Topple
*   Tumble
*   Jumpin' Monkeys 
*  Two booklets with ideas and lists of strategies for students 
*  FREE Giant Pick-Up Sticks - automatically shipped with all orders by July 31, 2015.

It is easy!  We show you how!

Get started today.  

Have lessons that are  Creative, Engaging and Fun!

 

info @ counselorgames.com 

 

Play Therapy for Schools

Counselor Games is Play Therapy for Schools

Learn how to use everyday games to teach kids anger control, stress management, study skills, making friends, decision making and more.  Learn how to integrate the counseling strategies into the games.  Use everyday familiar games such as Don't Break the Ice, Topple, Jumpin' Monkeys, playing cards, Jenga, and pick-up sticks and more.  Add the strategies.  It is hands-on, visual and auditory!  It is engaging, creative and FUN!  

Get your at home professional development

At Counselor Games

The demonstrations in the DVDs show you how.  Easy  and clear demonstrations for you to view by game.  

Your students will love the games.  They will interact and engage with the lesson.  They will be able to think through and apply the lesson ideas and return to your next session eager and ready for more! Content and lesson development comes naturally.  

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How to Help Kids Identify Angry Behavior

It is important to teach students that their behavior is noticed when they get angry.   When the external world and their internal world meet, or collide, will they be able to to manage their anger or will their anger manage them?  Use this article to help students:   How We Behave When We Get Angry       When the external world and the internal world of our feelings interact, the result is our behavior.  How we behave when we get angry determines whether the anger will fade or whether it will get worse.  There are two negative responses to anger.  The first negative response is withdrawal or avoidance.  The second negative response is hostility or aggression.       The first negative response is withdrawal or avoidance.  This is when a person does not actively deal with conflict and “goes away mad.”  The problem is not solved and the person may continue to think about it, get angry, and then eventually become depressed. Depression and the inability to deal with one’s problems results in low sense of personal worth, a sensitivity to unpleasant events, high self-criticism and a dealing of helplessness.  These are called the passive behaviors.       The second negative response to anger is hostility and aggression.  When we react too quickly and too intensely to feeling of anger, we become antagonistic.  This leads to more hostility which leads to more aggression.  Aggressive acts are often acts of impulse or desperation.  They may also be an attempt to overpower the other person.  These acts are called aggressive behaviors.      Did you know that there are also positive responses to anger?  When you manage your anger, you can make some good things happen because of the anger.  This is called anger management. Anger management is the utilization of assertive skills.  It is the result of self-awareness, self-confidence, and good communication skills.   First of all, you must learn to understand your own feelings.  This takes some thinking and self-instruction.  Feelings are linked to situations.  One way to understand what feelings are linked to certain situations is to keep a diary of things that happen to you and the feeling you have at that time.  Feelings are also linked to thoughts.  When you keep your journal or diary try to link the feelings you have to the thoughts you have.  Learn to view and think of the anger-producing incidents in an objective manner.  Try not to think of what is going on, or why, with a lot of opinions.  You must try to be objective.      You may find that sometimes your anger is unnecessary.  Unnecessary anger is often due to fatigue, pressure, conflict, and insecurity.             Second, you must try to understand the feelings of others.  Learn to understand things from the other person’s perspective to keep anger from becoming too intense.  Try to put yourself in the other person’s shoes.  Look at the situation from a different point of view.         Third, you must constantly instruct yourself to get composed and help deal with the situation.  This is self-instruction.  Learn to know what your body is telling you.     When you are tense because of a situation, you might get a headache or feel your muscles tighten.  You might feel your heart pound real hard or fast in your chest.  You may get sweaty hands or just sweat all over.  Your forehead may wrinkle and your eyebrows may become cross looking.  Some people start to breathe faster or heavier.  When these things happen, your body is releasing adrenalin.  These are signals of agitation and tension.  Your anger starts to build and so does the level of hostility you feel.  However, the anger will lessen as you start to solve the conflict.           Anger management also involves several ways you can learn to control yourself and take control of the situation before the situation takes control of you.  One way is to learn to relax.  Use relaxation techniques.  Anger is linked with tension.  You cannot be angry and relaxed at the same time.                    Another way to manage anger is to use humor.  Don’t take things to personally when they happen.  You can learn to see humor in things.             Anger is also managed by keeping it at a moderate level.  Use the arousal to be assertive rather than aggressive.  Communicate your angry feelings instead of acting on them.  When you feel anger, just say so and let the other person know what has made you angry.  If a person is doing something that stirs up the angry feelings in you, let him know how you are feeling with the right tone of voice and attitude.  Learn to communicate your anger in an appropriate way.  For example, it never will help in a situation if you scream or yell out your commands and demands.  You will only arouse anger in the other person you are dealing with.  You must learn to communicate your angry feelings in an effective and non-hostile way.           Communicating effectively is the most important skill in managing anger.  Good communication helps control the build-up of anger.  It prevents an aggressive over-reaction.  It also provides the opportunity to change the situation that has caused the anger.  An effective way to communicate is to use a power statement.   (see activity on power statements) Anger and Me is a workbook for students.  It includes articles about identifying anger and situations students and/or their friends may be a part of.  It is great for individual use or small groups.  It is reproducible, so make as many copies as you need.  It can be found on Amazon. Grace Wilhelm is a National Board Certified Counselor with over sixteen years  experience.  She enthusiastically presents to counselors, teachers, youth workers, and parents on anger, stress, crises intervention, communication, data, counseling programs, play sessions, and more. Find out more about Play Therapy for Schools at Counselor Games. Grace will be presenting at the ASCA Conference in Phoenix June 29 and 30.  The session title on Monday is: Play Therapy and Stress Management for Students.  Tuesday she will be contributing in the Data presentation.  Her part will be Parent Involvement.   Like Counselor Games on Facebook Subscribe to the Counselor Tribe.

  

4 Internal Factors of Anger that Affect Kids

 Anger can come from internal or external factors. 

People have different dispositions.  This means that some people are easy-going and carefree, while others feel stressed out by little things.  Besides having different dispositions, people also have different ways of thinking, feeling, and behaving.  Some of these ways have been learned since they were a baby.  They are learned both individually and culturally.  These internal factors affect how a person deals with anger.

Some internal factors contribute to anger

1.  Poor Thinking.  Having bad thoughts and high expectations are examples of poor thinking.  Another example is talking bad about yourself.  Self-talk is when we talk to ourselves.  Everyone does this and it is very normal.  However, it is not normal or healthy to use negative self-talk.  This happens when we say, “I am so stupid.”  “If I did it this way, that would not have happened.”  “What a jerk I am.”  “Who could ever like me?”  “No one cares about me.”  Sometimes we say these things so much that we start to believe them, even though at the beginning when we started to say them we knew they were not true.

2.      Personal Appraisal.  When something is very important to us it has a high value or appraisal.  Another way to appraise things highly is by taking too personally what happens to us.  We may feel bad or get angry about a referral we received at school, but losing sleep because of a poor decision is caused by high appraisal or wanting to be perfect.

3.      Tension.  Tension is accumulated stress.  When a lot of stress builds up in our life, we need to find a way to release the stress.  Stress that is not released causes anger.

4.      Ill humor.  Being moody, cross, or crabby gets us in the mood for anger.

What are some external causes of anger?

Name some internal factors of anger:

Join the Counselor Tribe at counselorgames.com  Be a part of the Counselor Tribe to help me with feedback and suggestions for my new book: Play Therapy for Schools.   I need your help!  

Simply join the mailing list at the website.  

Need more help with anger for your students.   Check out Anger and Me, a workbook for kids on anger control and management.  It is reproducible, so make as many copies as you need!

 Anger and Me

Questions?  Suggestions?  Contact me: grace@counselorgames.com 

4 Postive Functions of Anger

 Did you know that anger can help us?  

 Anger can be positive or negative.  Help kids put their anger in the right place and make it useful.  

What is anger?

            Anger is a feeling or an emotion.  People express anger because it is an emotional reaction to certain kinds of stress.  Anger is automatic for some people since they have not learned to control it.  Anger is different from aggression.

            Anger has positive and negative effects.  It can be used for good or bad.  When we become angry we can lose our patience and act without thinking.  This is when anger has a negative effect.  Anger can be good or positive when it gives us strength, determination, or even satisfaction when we are faced with difficult situations.

            The goal of expressing anger is to minimize the negative effects and maximize the positive effects.

The Positive Functions of Anger

            Anger can be positive in four ways.  It is an energizer, helps us express ourselves, signals us, and helps us take charge.

            First, anger is an energizer in a difficult situation.  It gives us strength and mobilizes the body’s resources for self-defense.  It provides stamina when a job gets difficult.  It enables us to deal with conflict by supplying fuel for the fight.

            Second, anger helps us to express ourselves.  It releases our tensions and helps us to communicate our negative feelings to others.  Sometimes this stays bottled up inside us until we get angry.  A healthy expression of our anger is an important way to resolve conflict.

            A third way anger has a positive effect is when it signals us.  Our anger can give us information about other people and situations.  This is just the way our feelings work.  Anger, just like other feelings, lets us know here is something unjust, frustrating, threatening, or annoying going on.  It can tell us it is time to cope with stress.

            Helping us to take charge is a fourth way anger can be positive.  It creates a sense of being in charge of a situation.  When a situation is getting out of control, anger enables us to take control and assert our interest.

Negative Functions of Anger

            There are four basic negative functions of anger.  Anger can disrupt out thoughts, cause us to be defensive, lead to aggression, or be a false front.

            First of all, anger can hurt us when it disrupts our thoughts and actions.  It becomes harder to think clearly.  Anger makes it harder for us to pay attention in class or remember things.  It becomes difficult to think of the options or choices we have when we face problems.  Then we act more on impulse without considering the consequences of our behavior.

            Secondly, anger is negative when it is used as a defense.  Sometimes we use anger to defend ourselves when it is not necessary.  When we are hurt or embarrassed we get angry to protect our pride.  It is easier to be angry than to be anxious.  We sometimes get angry to keep from feeling hurt.

A third negative effect of anger is that it can lead to aggression.  When we become upset, we sometimes try to release our feelings through our behavior.  We get angry and try to take it out on something or someone.

           

Fourth, anger can be a false front.  Becoming angry is sometimes a way to promote an impression of ourselves to others.  At times we show our anger because we want others to see us in a certain way.  Demonstrating anger becomes a way to build a particular kind of reputation.  Then, people will learn to expect you to reach a certain level with them until you do get angry.

Name four ways anger can be positive.

1.      _________________________________________________________________

2.      _________________________________________________________________

3.      _________________________________________________________________

4.      _________________________________________________________________

Name four ways anger can be negative.

                  

1.      _________________________________________________________________

2.      _________________________________________________________________

3.      _________________________________________________________________

4.      _________________________________________________________________

Join the mailing list at counselorgames.com  and be a part of the Counselor Tribe.  I am putting the finishing touches on a new book Play Therapy for Schools.  Help me with feedback and what works and what needs improvement.  The Counselor Tribe will get a free copy of the book.  Join the Counselor Tribe today!  counselorgames.com

Anger control and management workbook for your students, and adults love it too!  This workbook has been used by professional companies such as realtors, teachers, administrators, foster care, probation officers and agency counselors, not to mention used by school counselors in three different countries. Anger and Me is reproducible, so you can make as many copies as you need.   I like to give it to parents, two to three copies at a time, and ask them to use the book together at home.  Do two to three pages a day together.  It helps to open new levels of communication at home.

Anger and Me

Contact Grace

grace@counselorgames.com