Creative Play Therapy for Schools.
Play therapy techniques for counselors, teachers, youth workers, and parents
Monday, June 1, 2015
How to Help Kids Identify Angry Behavior
is important to teach students that their behavior is noticed when they
get angry. When the external world and their internal world meet, or
collide, will they be able to to manage their anger or will their anger
manage them? Use this article to help students:
How We Behave When We Get Angry
the external world and the internal world of our feelings interact, the
result is our behavior. How we behave when we get angry determines
whether the anger will fade or whether it will get worse. There are two
negative responses to anger. The first negative response is withdrawal
or avoidance. The second negative response is hostility or aggression. The first negative response is
withdrawal or avoidance. This is when a person does not actively deal
with conflict and “goes away mad.” The problem is not solved and the
person may continue to think about it, get angry, and then eventually
Depression and the inability to deal with one’s problems results in low
sense of personal worth, a sensitivity to unpleasant events, high
self-criticism and a dealing of helplessness. These are called the
passive behaviors. The second negative response to anger
is hostility and aggression. When we react too quickly and too
intensely to feeling of anger, we become antagonistic. This leads to
more hostility which leads to more aggression. Aggressive acts are
often acts of impulse or desperation. They may also be an attempt to
overpower the other person. These acts are called aggressive behaviors. Did you know that there are also
positive responses to anger? When you manage your anger, you can make
some good things happen because of the anger. This is called anger
management. Anger management is the utilization of assertive skills. It
is the result of self-awareness, self-confidence, and good
First of all, you must learn to
understand your own feelings. This takes some thinking and
self-instruction. Feelings are linked to situations. One way to
understand what feelings are linked to certain situations is to keep a
diary of things that happen to you and the feeling you have at that
time. Feelings are also linked to thoughts. When you keep your journal
or diary try to link the feelings you have to the thoughts you have.
Learn to view and think of the anger-producing incidents in an objective
manner. Try not to think of what is going on, or why, with a lot of
opinions. You must try to be objective.
You may find that sometimes your anger
is unnecessary. Unnecessary anger is often due to fatigue, pressure,
conflict, and insecurity.
Second, you must try to understand the feelings of others. Learn to
understand things from the other person’s perspective to keep anger from
becoming too intense. Try to put yourself in the other person’s
shoes. Look at the situation from a different point of view.
Third, you must constantly instruct
yourself to get composed and help deal with the situation. This is
self-instruction. Learn to know what your body is telling you. When you are tense because of a
situation, you might get a headache or feel your muscles tighten. You
might feel your heart pound real hard or fast in your chest. You may
get sweaty hands or just sweat all over. Your forehead may wrinkle and
your eyebrows may become cross looking. Some people start to breathe
faster or heavier. When these things happen, your body is releasing
adrenalin. These are signals of agitation and tension. Your anger
starts to build and so does the level of hostility you feel. However,
the anger will lessen as you start to solve the conflict.
Anger management also involves several ways you can learn to
control yourself and take control of the situation before the situation
takes control of you. One way is to learn to relax. Use relaxation
techniques. Anger is linked with tension. You cannot be angry and
relaxed at the same time.
Another way to manage anger is to use humor. Don’t take
things to personally when they happen. You can learn to see humor in
Anger is also managed by keeping it at a moderate level.
Use the arousal to be assertive rather than aggressive. Communicate
your angry feelings instead of acting on them. When you feel anger,
just say so and let the other person know what has made you angry. If a
person is doing something that stirs up the angry feelings in you, let
him know how you are feeling with the right tone of voice and attitude.
Learn to communicate your anger in an appropriate way. For example, it
never will help in a situation if you scream or yell out your commands
and demands. You will only arouse anger in the other person you are
dealing with. You must learn to communicate your angry feelings in an
effective and non-hostile way.
Communicating effectively is the most important skill in
managing anger. Good communication helps control the build-up of
anger. It prevents an aggressive over-reaction. It also provides the
opportunity to change the situation that has caused the anger. An
effective way to communicate is to use a power statement. (see
activity on power statements)
Anger and Me is a workbook for students. It includes articles about identifying
anger and situations students and/or their friends may be a part of. It
is great for individual use or small groups. It is reproducible, so
make as many copies as you need. It can be found on Amazon.
Grace Wilhelm is a National Board Certified Counselor with over sixteen
years experience. She enthusiastically presents to counselors,
teachers, youth workers, and parents on anger, stress, crises
intervention, communication, data, counseling programs, play sessions,
will be presenting at the ASCA Conference in Phoenix June 29 and 30.
The session title on Monday is: Play Therapy and Stress Management for
Students. Tuesday she will be contributing in the Data presentation.
Her part will be Parent Involvement.