By Ginger Kadlec — get free updates of new postshere.
Cy·ber·bul·ly·ing:
noun — defined
as, “The use of electronic communication to bully a person, typically
by sending messages of an intimidating or threatening nature.”
The stats are alarming. Nearly 43% of all teens have been victims of cyberbullying; 1 in 4 of those kids has been victimized more than once. Cyberbullying is different than other forms of bullying. Kids can’t escape it. It’s a 24×7 attack.
It follows them home via their mobile device or computer. It’s viral
nature allows the online abuse to be spread to hundreds, even thousands,
of others in a short period of time, making the bullying virtually
inescapable for a child. Detective Alex Petty of the Hamilton County Sheriff’s Department in
my home state of Indiana offered insight into the ever-growing
cyberbullying phenomenon at a community forum about Teens and Social
Media.
What is cyberbullying?
Detective Petty shared there are essentially two types of bullying:
Direct which involves physical (e.g., hitting, kicking, stealing or making someone do something they don’t want to do) or verbal (e.g., name calling, insulting, making threats) aggression.
Indirect involves relationship bullying, such as
gossiping or spreading rumors and lies about someone. It can also make
victims feel left-out or maliciously rejected.
Victims of cyberbullying fall
prey to not just one bully, but many, as information spreads via social
media, email, chats and other forms of electronic communication.
The danger with cyberbullying is that it combines both direct and indirect forms of bullying.
Not only can someone be verbally abused via name calling, photo
sharing, insults or threats, but relationship bullying also plays a key
role in spreading information about the victim that reaches a wide
audience through digital means. As a result, victims of cyberbullying
then fall prey to not just one bully, but many, as information spreads
via social media, email, chats and other forms of electronic
communication.
Using a cyberbullying approach, sexual offenders can also
disseminate information and/or pictures of their victims through that
child’s personal social networking site — this happens in 26% of online
sex crimes against minors. (Journal of Adolescent Health)
Signs A Child Is Being Cyberbullied
There are a variety of red flags which could indicate a child is a victim of cyberbullying:
Decreased computer or cell phone usage
Nervous behavior when receiving a text, email or chat
Uneasiness about attending school
Withdrawal from family and friends
Increased health problems
Use of alcohol or drugs
Drop in grades
While none of these signs in and of themselves equate to a
child being cyberbullied, they can be strong indicators that something
isn’t right in the child’s world. Parents, as with everything else
regarding your child, it’s important to have a solid understanding of
what is happening with them while they are online. Pay attention. Ask
questions. Involve yourself in their online world.
Signs A Child Is A Cyberbully
So, who are cyberbullies? They come in all shapes and sizes, but do share some similar traits. Cyberbullies…
Enjoy feelings of power and control
Enjoy inflicting physical or emotional pain on others
Can be below average, average or above average students
Lack compassion and empathy for their targeted victims
Are often victims of bullying or another type of abuse themselves
A 2010 study found that girls are more likely to cyberbully than boysand tend to gossip and spread rumors online, while boys are more apt to post harmful photos or videos of targeted victims.
Behaviors to watch for that may indicate a child is a cyberbully can include:
Quickly changing screens or closing programs when others approach
Using the computer or cell phone at all hours of the day and night
Getting unusually upset when computer usage is restricted or revolked
“Empowering kids to stand up for others can often stop bullies in their tracks.” ~Detective Alex Petty
Detective Petty encourages parents to empower their children to
intervene if they know another child is being bullied or cyberbullied.
“The bystander effect is more powerful than you can imagine,”
Detective Petty shared. “Empowering kids to stand up for others can
often stop bullies in their tracks.”
He added there are 3 steps parents and kids can take together to help stop bullying and cyberbullying:
Don’t be a ‘bystander’ and just ‘watch’ — stand-up for the person who is being bullied or cyberbullied.
Tell a trusted adult about the bullying — share exactly what you
have seen, read or heard, regardless of whether that bullying is
directed at you or someone else. (Parents, be aware: only 1 in
10 victims will tell anyone they are being bullied.)
Contact the school or local law enforcement to report the bullying.
“If we catch it as soon as it
begins and are able to intervene, the chances of it spiraling out of
control are greatly minimized.” ~Detective Alex Petty
“If we catch it as soon as it begins and are able to intervene,
the chances of it spiraling out of control are greatly minimized,”
stated Detective Petty. “Often, a friendly visit to a bully or
cyberbully by a police officer is enough to make them rethink their
actions and behavior.”
Nearly 43% of kids have been bullied online. 1 in 4 has had it happen more than once.
70% of students report seeing frequent bullying online. Filling up your friends’ Facebook feeds with positive posts instead of negative ones can boost school-wide morale.
Start a Facebook page for students to submit positive acts they see in
school to promote a culture of positivity on and offline. Sign up for Positivity Page.
Over 80% of teens use a cell phone regularly, making it the most common medium for cyber bullying.
68% of teens agree that cyber bullying is a serious problem.
81% of young people think bullying online is easier to get away with than bullying in person
90% of teens who have seen social media bullying say they have ignored it. 84% have seen others tell cyber bullies to stop.
Only 1 in 10 victims will inform a parent or trusted adult of their abuse.
Girls are about twice as likely as boys to be victims and perpetrators of cyber bullying.
About 58% of kids
admit someone has said mean or hurtful things to them online. More than
4 out 10 say it has happened more than once.
Bullying victims are 2 to 9 times more likely to consider committing suicide.
About 75% of students admit they have visited a website bashing another student.
Parents, in a nutshell…
Know what your child is doing online.
Talk with your child about what to do if they know of someone being cyberbullied (or bullied).
Take action! Help your child report bullying activity of any kind to school officials or local law enforcement.
#SHOUTOUT to…
Hamilton County Sheriff Mark Bowen,
along with Detective Alex Petty, for allowing me to share valuable
information from their “Teens & Social Media” community presentation
held in Noblesville, IN in March, 2014. About cyberbullying and social
media issues, Sheriff Bowen said, “It’s happening all over the country
each and every day. We felt it’s important to get the word out so people
understand the gravity of these issues and the consequences can
sometimes lead to a situation where somebody takes their life as a
result. The biggest thing is education on the front end to make sure
they’re taking the necessary steps to protect themselves and not put
themselves in that position. But, even if they do, it’s not the end of
the world and life goes on… there are ways we can help them to deal and
cope with it.”
About Alex
Detective Alex Petty is a veteran investigator in crimes against
children. A former Hanover College football player and now law
enforcement officer for 23 years, Alex has been with the Hamilton Co.
Sheriff’s Department since 1996 where he started in Sheriff’s court
security, moved to the patrol division and was then promoted to
detective in 2006. Alex holds several professional designations
including that of certified drug recognition expert and instructor,
crisis negotiator, and instructor for Child First/Finding Words child
forensic interview training in Indiana. A loving husband and proud
father of four fabulous kids aged 17 to 10, Alex coaches football and
basketball in his spare time. Ever since he was a little boy, Alex
wanted to be an investigator. “I come from a single parent home, so I
know what it’s like for the single mom and dad,” he shared. “Kids are
forced to adapt to ever-changing societal influences; some good, some
bad. I want parents to know that if they communicate with their kids,
take charge and do their part to show kids a healthy way to live, they
really can strengthen family relationships.” Have a question for Alex?
Contact him at (317) 733-1282 or Alex.Petty@HamiltonCounty.IN.gov.
About Ginger
Raising awareness of the world-wide epidemic of child abuse has
become Ginger’s life mission. An impassioned child advocate, trainer,
speaker and child forensic interviewer, Ginger regularly blogs about
child protection issues and has released a report for parents and other
caring adults, “10 Scary Apps”. Click here for your free copy of this informative 12-page report.Along
with her husband John and pets Lexi and Chase, Ginger enjoys traveling,
skiing, hiking, brisk mornings, colorful sunsets and just hangin’ at
home with “the Pack”.
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